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MY SON JOHN

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Rollercoaster ride

TODAY IS JULY 30, 2002. IT IS EXACTLY FOUR MONTHS TODAY SINCE JOHN DIED, AND THE REASON I NAMED THIS PAGE THE ROLLERCOASTER RIDE IS BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I FEEL I HAVE BEEN ON, WITH ALL THE UPS AND DOWNS!

FOUR MONTHS. FOUR MONTHS SINCE I HAVE SEEN, OR HELD, OR TOUCHED MY SON. FOUR MONTHS, AND NOT A DAY HAS GONE BY THAT I HAVEN'T CRIED, THAT I HAVEN'T MISSED HIM WITH EVERY BEAT OF MY HEART. I THOUGHT TIME WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE IT EASIER, AT LEAST THAT IS WHAT I HAVE ALWAYS HEARD. I DON'T THINK THIS PAIN WILL EVER GET EASIER.
I HAVE HAD ALOT OF FEEDBACK FROM THIS SITE, AND I AM BEGINNING TO QUESTION MY STAND ON WHAT IT WILL TAKE TO TACKLE THE DRUG PROBLEM. I HAVE HEARD FROM MANY MOTHERS THAT HAVE LOST THEIR CHILDREN, AND THEY ARE ALL UNANIMOUS IN STATING THAT JAIL IS NOT THE ANSWER. MANY OF THEIR CHILDREN WERE IN JAIL, AND IN MANY CASES, NOT ONLY DID IT NOT HELP, IT MADE THE PROBLEM WORSE. IT SEEMS THAT DRUGS ARE ALSO IN OUR JAILS. THERE IS CORRUPTION EVERYWHERE YOU TURN. I NEED TO REFOCUS, REGROUP, AND RETHINK MY POSITION. IN THE COMING DAYS, I WILL BE ADDING MORE INFORMATION ON THE EDUCATION OF DRUG PREVENTION. IF I COULD GO BACK AND RAISE MY SON ALL OVER AGAIN, I WOULD BRAINWASH HIM AGAINST DRUGS FROM THE TIME HE WAS AN INFANT. WE ABSOLUTELY MUST MAKE OUR NATION'S CHILDREN AFRAID OF EVEN EXPERIMENTING WITH DRUGS. THE 'JUST SAY NO' SLOGAN NEEDS TO BE SECOND NATURE.
AN UPDATE, I HAVE NOT RECIEVED ONE SINGLE RESPONSE FROM ANY OF THE LETTERS THAT I WROTE TO CONGRESS. MAYBE IF I WRITE AGAIN RIGHT BEFORE ELECTION I WOULD GET A RESPONSE? OUR LEADERS NEED TO TAKE THIS PROBLEM MORE SERIOUSLY! MY MAIN FOCUS NOW WILL BE TO CHANNEL AS MANY RESOURCES AS POSSIBLE INTO DRUG PREVENTION. WE CANNOT SHELTER OUR CHILDREN FROM THE DANGERS IN THIS WORLD, BUT WE CAN PREPARE THEM FOR WHAT THEY WILL ENCOUNTER. TALK TO YOUR KIDS TODAY, TOMORROW AND YESTERDAY ABOUT DRUGS! TELL THEM DRUGS STEAL LIVES BEFORE THEY ARE LIVED! PLEASE, IF YOU ARE READING THIS NOW, SIT YOUR CHILDREN DOWN AND TELL THEM I LOST MY SON, AND YOU DON'T WANT TO LOSE THEM. NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU HAVE EVER BEEN THROUGH IN YOUR LIFE, NO MATTER HOW BAD YOU PERCIEVED IT TO BE, CAN COMPARE TO THE PAIN AND AGONY OF LOSING YOUR CHILD. I LIVE DAILY WITH THE WHY'S, AND IF ONLY'S, AND I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING I POSSESS TO HAVE A CHANCE TO GO BACK AND START ALL OVER. UNFORTUNATELY, GOD DOES NOT GRANT US FORSIGHT, AND AS THEY SAY, HINDSIGHT IS 20/20! DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU! EDUCATE, EDUCATE, EDUCATE, BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!
PLEASE, IF YOU HAVE HAD SUCCESS WITH AN ANTI-DRUG CAMPAIGN, IF SOMETHING HAS WORKED FOR YOU IN KEEPING YOUR KIDS OFF DRUGS, LET ME KNOW SO I CAN PASS IT ON. HELP ME PREVENT ANOTHER MOTHER FROM HAVING TO LIVE WITH A HOLE IN HER HEART. 



One option followed by many parents is to establish a Family Drug and Alcohol Policy with their children. The policy should include drug education, a statement of expectations, a listing of specific restrictions if the policy is not followed and the potential for drug testing. The threat of drug testing is a risk that most children understand. It gives your child an acceptable "excuse" to say no and may take some peer pressure off of them to experiment.

PARENT'S INFO CENTER

from

Home Health Testing«


Developing A Family Drug and Alcohol Policy

  • Parental involvement does help!
  • Setting a formal policy is an excellent way to initiate discussions with children!
  • Parents and children both learn from the process!

According to a recent national survey for the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, nearly half of 13 year olds say their parents have never discussed the dangers of drugs with them.

The survey also found that teens who have tried marijuana say their friends had the most influence over their decision. Teens who have chosen not to smoke pot say their parents influenced them the most. According to Joseph A Califano Jr., "Parents have more clout than they think. They should use it".


Home Health Testing« encourages parents to establish a "Family Drug and Alcohol Policy". Many parents have told us that this approach has really helped them open up the lines of communication with their children.

Based on this feedback, we present the following guidelines for your review and consideration in establishing your own Family Drug and Alcohol Policy.

  1. Establish your familys drug and alcohol policy when your children are in the 4th or 5th grade. However, if your children are older, apologize for the late start but still initiate a family drug and alcohol policy. It is never too late to provide your children with guidance when it comes to the use of drugs, alcohol and tobacco.
  2. Spend time learning the facts about drugs, alcohol and tobacco as well as the problems associated with their use. Many parents are not knowledgeable about todays drugs and the effects they have on their children. You should be aware of the major issues before you have discussions with your children.
  3. Let your children actively participate in the process. Start by asking questions to encourage them to tell you what they already know about drugs and alcohol. It is critical that you listen to what they are saying. If they mention something that you are not familiar with, have them explain it to you. Keep the conversation positive and focused on setting the policy. (If you learn some alarming facts about drug use at your childs school or with their friends, do not get upset and storm off to action. You will have many opportunities in the future to get with school officials or neighborhood groups to correct the problem.)
  4. Inform your children how you feel about drugs, alcohol and tobacco. Explain in detail the dangers involved with their use. Provide them with information on how to handle situations when they are exposed to drugs or alcohol. Encourage them to come to you anytime to talk about drugs and alcohol. Encourage them to research the subject on the Internet or in the local library and prepare a report for school.
  5. Let your children know the consequences if any of the Family Drug and Alcohol Policies are broken (extra household chores, the loss or reduction of their allowance, restricted use of telephone and television privileges or eliminate perks such as the participation in extra curricular activities at school, the use of the automobile or the loss of financial help with college for older children).
  6. Consider making random drug and alcohol testing part of the family policy. Letting your children know at an early age that they may be subject to random testing will make it easier in the future. Testing will not become an invasion of privacy issue but rather just one of the policies your children have previously agreed to. Random testing may also help them when confronted with drugs by their peers. It may be enough to relieve the peer pressure if your child, when tempted to experiment by their friends, can make a statement like: "My parents have this drug and alcohol policy which includes random testing at home, I just can not take any chances".
  7. Document the major expectations and penalties. Make sure that everyone understands the issues; it will help to avoid problems in the future. Continue to have conversations with your children through their school years about drugs, alcohol and tobacco. This will serve to reinforce what you expect from them and allow for the opportunity to make any adjustments in your familys policy that may be required as your children grow older.

Parents must provide children with knowledge and support when it comes to the use of drugs, alcohol and tobacco, otherwise they will learn from other sources. Home Health Testing« supports parents in their fight against the use of illicit drugs, alcohol and tobacco.



Home Health Testing« is a division of
AbDiagnostics, Inc.

Copyrightę 2000 AbDiagnostics, Inc. all rights reserved
Last Revision Made 05/02/01

http://www.home-drugtest.com/

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FALLEN HEROS